shewillbe;;

This week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. Maybe not really. But it has been so emotionally draining and physically draining that I last night was about ready to throw in the towel and give up. Dont ask me what made me change my mind.

I wanted to hurt myself so badly and just stop everything I was feeling. The fam is out of town so I really dont know what stopped me. I cuddled three blankets and cried myself to sleep. I only slept maybe three hours and then I had to be up for work at 6am.

Everynight this week Ive cried myself to sleep. And Ive woken up tossing and turning not able to focus enough on actually sleeping. I guess thats how bad Ive been feeling.

I really hope that this saddness will eventually pass. Because I really cant take this anymore. I think my eyes have cried enough tears to fill a small ocean.. Or at least a pond. And my heart is so broken its beating irregularly.



I am thankful for my mom. I am happy that she loves me no matter what. I cried two nights ago so hard that I felt like a little girl again. My mom held me while I cried and let me tell her what was wrong. I thought she would be so disappointed in me. But she wasnt. She loved me. Just the same. That love is amazing. The kind of love everyone needs. The unconditional love.. Thats what I need. I need love. That kind of love.