updated

Well, its 4 am. And to be honest. I accidently slept from 4:00pm untill now. Which kind of sucks because I wanted to do something. Oh well.

Thursday was my last day of school. I am offically finished and it feels great! I got home at about 2:30ish.. and I was feeling really quite lonley and sad. So. I went to the hairdresser. And cut off all my hair! True story. I dont know why I keep doing that though. I'll cut off all my hair when my hearts broken. Weird I know. The haircut however has came to me with a sence of belonging and maturing. I guess I feel mature anyway. And I want to be more mature. I have a feeling now, that everything will be okay. That everythings going to be okay. When I looked in the mirror yesterday I saw me.

I had the most amazing talk with my best friend thursday night. She shone a new light into my twisted way of thinking how horrible a person I was being. She's such an amazing girl. I realized how much I missed her. I managed to tell her everything, which is something I had been struggling with. But I explained everything about BD and me. I told her how I was having a hard time getting over the relationship between BD and myself. It felt amazing to be able to share these things I'd been keeping inside. My best friend had so many insights to the whole thing. I truly do love her.

I am trying really hard to get over BD right now. I have no idea whats going on, or whats going to happen. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I know I am a stronger person as a result of this whole.... explosion?. I know I'll be okay. And I hope BD will be okay too. I truly do miss BD. ALOT. But mostly I really want BD to be happy.. And to find happiness.