shewillbe;;

-im not doing so well today. i just feel drained. im dealing with two deaths in a row and i guess i thought it would be easier. but its not when your attached to the person.

-i also feel physically ill. my head feels like a balloon and i feel grumpy because im sick.

-i posted martha (my car) up on a site last night. and im dissappointed no-one will take her for 500.00. (or less for that matter)

-i wish i could be happy right now. i guess this is how i grieve. i get crusty and snappy. i dont like death. it scares the bahjeebees out of me. bill was fine yesterday when i woke him up and got him dressed. and put a cute red hat on him and with a matching sweater. and now he's gone. :/

-and my back is seriously killing me. i think i have something terribly wrong with my spine. i cant even sit up properly right now.. and each night i need this cold stuff rubbed on my back. its not fun but im scared of the chiro. i guess i may need to face my fears however and go see one.

-ive also learnt an important lesson. the only person i can ever trust. is myself.