my idol?

the need to just be alone is so overpowering right now. i just want to get in my car and drive and not look back. i want to leave everything and everyone i know behind. i want to re-connect with the Holy Spirit. i want to become more like Christ. it seems like when i start t put my faith, trust, and everything into a person.. a human being.. i am harshly reminded that this is not possible. because as humans. we all sin. and sin can be hurtful. putting your 100% faith in a person. who is not perfect. not blameless. i am so stupid. who was i to actually think this person could love me like Christ does. who was i to practically wait on the person. you know. this person is just that. a person. and even though he did not mean to hurt me. he did. a harsh reality that again, no one is perfect. i need to stop doing this. stop putting people on pedostils to worship them. to think.. "man, i wish i was more like so and so. they are everything i want to be" or, "i wish that i could have the things she has. shes so happy".. i need to stop doing this. idolizing people. i place them on pillars. and then when i am reminded that they are human, i am so offended. like this girl i knew. she was a perfect Christian. everyone loved her. her walk in Christ was so amazing. but then one day while we were in the car, she pulled out a smoke. and started smoking. "want one?" she asked. my world just crumbled. because i looked up to her. she was my rold model so to speak and here she was. smoking. how dare she. you see. this is what i do. i put people on pillars. i worship them. i try to be like them. and then i am EVER so harshly reminded that they are people. like me. they sin. like i do. i need to start to just. be one with Christ again. and i need to put Christ on the pillar. and look up to him and his perfection. he could never me down. he could never hurt me. i need to my faith in Jesus Christ, the one who DIED for me. not in human beings are like me.