a real post.

I was told today that I have cysts on my right ovary.
But my left ovary is fine.
The doctor didnt seem worried when he told me.
The exam was disgusting. And Scary.
I felt violated. And I cried.
They put something inside me.
It hurt. They took pictures of my inside.
I cried.
I felt helpless. Scared. Vulnerable.
"havent you ever had sex"
the lab tech said to me.
I ignored her.
And I stared at the sign on the wall.
Waiting for it to be over.
I dressed quickly and ran to my car.
I drove home, having a panic attack.
I came home.Busied myself with cleaning.
And then went to sleep.
The phone rang several hours later and the doctor told me.
"You have cysts, youre booked in with the specialist in Feb. And we will do another ultra sound March 2nd"
---
"okay"
was all I could answer.
shocked. scared. terrified.
what if I couldnt have babies.
"cysts"
cancerous ones? what?
I called the doctor back an hour later and asked where the cysts were.
she explain only in one ovary.
I can still have children.
I am still healthy.
I just need treatment for the right ovary.
the right ovary.
the right ovary.
cysts on my right ovary.
i looked up symtoms.
"fatigue" -Im always tired.
"more facial hair" - check.
"cronic migraines" - almost every day for the past year.
"back pain" - EVERY DAY.
"irregular periods" - i havent bled in over a year.
cysts on my right ovary.
what am i doing to do.