jnklj

i sometimes struggle with the idea that i am good enough.
i know it sounds silly. but its true. and i hate it.

this one girl. "ginger".
shes liked me for over a year.
and i mean liked me, for me.
not because im "beautiful" or whatever.
shes seen me at my worst.
and knows every darkest secret i have.
and yet shes still there.
she still reminds me that im "amazing".
and still encourages me in ways no one has.
shes a christian. like me.
and she understands what i go through in that way.
ive pushed her away so many times.
i couldnt even begin to count.
but yet shes still there.
my little "ginger".

she offered me something life changing about a month ago.
something i had to think about.
she offered me a place to stay. with her. in a different city.
a place where no body knows my name.
the rumours about me dont exist.
and i cant start over. brand new.

this took alot of thought. prayer. questions. and soul searching.
but after i found out that my union is the same union in her city.
and i could get a job doing the same thing, virtually no problem.
how could i not say yes.

so im doing it.
nov 1st.
im packing up my little life.
and heading south. (at least i think its south)

and guess what.
i added a new addition to my little family. (which consisted only of me before)
i got a puppy. hes 8 weeks old. and he is adorable.
let me tell you.
he melts my heart.
and hes only peed on my floor twice.
(both times were my fault.. i forgot puppies pee right when then wake up oops)
anyways.
my little man.
he weights 1.5lbs right now. and his name.
his name is Angus.
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