unwanted memories.

Not last summer but the summer before, something really bad happened to me. I think Ive only told one person about it actually. Im not going to say what it was on here because it was something really bad that shouldnt have happened. And I spent alot of time blaming myself for it. Through councelling and what not I have managed to come to the point where I realize I am not to blame. There was nothing I could have done to change the outcome of the situation. But even though Ive done okay in dealing with it, sometimes it still can find a way to creep back into my life and remind me how horrible a person I am. This time it took the form on facebook.

He added me a friend. A "friend". Why on earth do you think I would even concider you a "friend"? After what happened. Ya right. Why do you think you can just, send me a messege online and everything will be okay? because its not. Its not okay. Even though it was so hard to be able to forgive you, I did. I dont need you coming back into my life. I dont want you in my life. Saskatoon isnt that big of a city. When I see you in the mall, or downtown... I feel sick to my stomach. And I turn the other way and leave. Why would you think I'd want to talk to you. Or add you to my msn or facebook. You know. I hate you for what you did to me. Why is it, every few months you think you'll try again at texting me, or phoning me.. or "facebooking" me. Seriously. I want you to leave me alone. Theres a reason Im not talking to you. I dont want to be your "friend". You broke this friendship, and you know what you did. Im sorry you dont see how horrible of a thing it was.. I just want you to leave me alone.. Please.. Stop texting. Stop calling. Stop adding me to msn and facebook. Just leave it. Everytime you try and resurface again, I have to deal with the hurt and embarrassment again. I have to deal with it all over again. Just please.. stop.