shewillbe;;

its pathetic i know...
but each day i can go without checking your profile.. or hers..
makes me a stronger person.
because when i break down and check..
i crumble all over again..
my heart breaks..
and i feel like a pathetic piece of shit.
i feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs and i have to fight to regain my breath.
its like im on the road to recovery. and its stupid.
its pathetic. and its lame.
youre not even worth it...
yet my messed up brain says you are.
but youre not even worth it.
not even worth it.
not even worth it.
each day i go without checking your profile..
i feel empowered.
like im winning.
like you dont even exist anymore.
like you cant hurt me anymore.
your not even worth it.
and when i make it to three months without looking at your profile..
i'll know im okay.
im "sober".
((its so pathetic that youre like a drug..
and im like an addict..
yet its not you im addicted too..
it doesnt make sense..
that i need to know that youre okay..
i need to see if youve moved on..
if youve found someone else to love..))
three months..
without checking on you.
without wondering.
without thinking.
without looking.
then i know i will be okay.
i'll tattoo something on my body.
"love like youve never been hurt"
because God knows i deserve to be loved.
and im trying so hard not to let you bring me down.